Ever have a day where you feel like everyone is coming down on you? I have for almost two weeks straight now. It felt like everytime I encountered someone they were looking to argue, make a point, or just have an attitude. I’m not saying this at all for sympathy, trust me, it's just fact. What’s almost funny about that, is for years I had the worst attitude ever. I was snappy, saying whatever came to mind without thought for how it would make someone feel, and never backed down from an argument. That is something I gave to God awhile ago and I believe He is continuing to work it totally out of me. Not only just not to say anything back or just leave the sitation alone BUT to not even be moved in my deepest of hearts to feel like saying something snappy back AND to use that time to love on them instead.
After the first few times of being in a situations where I was like "ummm where did that just come from?" I started asking God what the heck was going on. I wasn’t in victim mode of “why is everyone being mean ” it was more like… is there something still inside that you want me to see and is this how you’re doing it? Am I doing something to invite this that I need to be aware of? For almost two weeks I didn’t feel like God was saying anything to me about it, so I just kept trying to handle each situation with at least not getting into a negative exchange.
Yesterday though this lady was on a whole other level and while I didn’t say anything rude or argue, I walked away totally pissed and vented to Kevin. While we were in the car later I was thinking about it and God put it on my spirit that “as long as I was still moved at all by situations like this, they were going to keep happening because He has to prepare my heart, and this was just heart bootcamp.” Can you imagine the mental image that accompanied this? Yup… hearts climbing over walls and swinging off ropes into muddy pools of water...my imagination is still that of a child, can you tell?
But once I really started thinking about it, I realized that when God puts a call on your life He has to make sure you are equipped. He has called me to literally spread His love. Spreading His love to his people. People are not always easy to love at times and He wants to make sure my heart can go beyond my own personal defenses or reactions and continue to love especially when it’s hard. I also got understanding that when the enemy is scared of you he will do anything to change your heart and distract you from your purpose. I say this to put a giant spotlight on one of his oldest tricks in his book of whackness. It would only make sense right? If God wants me to love people wouldn’t the enemy want me to resent them or not want to be bothered? Wouldn’t he do whatever he could to change my heart towards people? Not going to work buddy.
If you’re aware of his tricks you can step on his head and keep walking down the path God has for you. I share this because I also don’t want any of you who have been doing GiveLove or whatever you have been trying to do better with in your own life...to feel discouraged if you encounter situations like this along the way. Stay encouraged and BEING love.