Inside of me arms and fingers are forming, a heart is growing, brain cells are igniting, and bones are going where they need to go. All of this is happening without my direct doing or even feeling exactly what is taking place at the moment. As I type this I’m not focused on trying to figure out how to connect muscle tissue or making sure that every tiny toe is accounted for. I’m not moving my own organs and parts of my body to accommodate this little life, and I’m definitely not at all aware how to create a human heart.
God is always God even when we don’t “feel” anything, have any “tangible” confirmation, or even any direct knowledge of the process that we are in. Sometimes we get frustrated because we don’t literally see things happening or we can’t think of how to make something happen on our own. We allow our emotional reactions and our own limited thoughts to distract us from simply having faith in HIS abilties and plans.
But all the while God is shifting, creating ways, and moving things in our life… and the majority of the time, we have no clue it’s even happening. We have a habit of looking for a feeling or trying to figure out how something will come to pass instead of trusting God and walking in His plan with faith. Trusting that He really does want the best for us and that He knows the best way for us to experience it. Ways that will mature and nurture us along the way, and bring us closer to Him.
I have had an even deeper understanding of this flood my spirit over the past few weeks. Mostly because it blows my mind that inside of me a little body is taking shape and a life is beginning.
Experiencing this has really allowed me to have a higher level of patience and faith in the unseen and the unfelt. I believe that at times my habit of seeking a tangible feeling for everything has distracted my focus in my own relationship with God. I see times where I was so focused on why I wasn’t feeling something or trying to figure out the "how", that I was missing what He was doing or trying to show me. I have learned to have peace in what I don’t feel or see just as much as what I do see and feel. God does interact with us with in tangible ways, but at the moments when we don't feel that, He is not any less God or any less intertwined with our being.
Don’t ever underestimate the miracles going on inside of you. There's businesses, world changing ideas, creations, art, inventions, families, and people's hope all inside of you. Growing and forming, even if you don't feel it. it's happening.